A Thank You to America's Mothers on Mother's Day
Our moms sacrifice so much and work so hard not only to support, guide and comfort their families but our society and nation as well
For this Mother’s Day, I decided to make a list on all the ways our moms support, comfort, guide, protect and work to serve not only their own families but our society and nation as well. It’s a long list, so here it goes:
First and foremost, for enduring the emotional and physical challenges (and pain) of enduring pregnancy and childbirth to bring the miracle of life into the world. It takes a special commitment and gift to voluntarily put yourselves through what you do, even before beginning the lifelong mission of raising and caring for a child.
For navigating and balancing all the competing demands our society throws at you to be a provider (emotional and financial), caregiver (providing unconditional love) and mentor (providing the guidance we all need), when our society often provides you so little support in return. You deserve more paid leave from your jobs, if you have one; you deserve more emotional and physical support for the never-ending challenges of caring for young ones (a 24/7/365-day-a-year commitment with no paid time off or sick leave, instead of often having to navigate these challenges in solitude).
For finding the time as well to be a “mom” to the other people in your lives, the spouses, family members, friends, colleagues who need a shoulder to cry on; a firm scolding when the situation demands it (as when we, i.e. me, forget to clean up our messes in kitchen or pull our weight in household chores).
For finding the time as well to be a “mom” to our society and nation, particularly when it comes to standing up for the forgotten, the marginalized and the oppressed.
For being the “moms” who save lives by standing against drunk driving.
For being the “moms” who demand action to end the scourge of gun violence in our society.
For being the “moms” who demand equity and inclusion for all marginalized groups, even if they aren’t directly affected by that marginalization.
For being the “moms” offering hugs to the LGBTQ+ children who have been rejected by their own families.
For taking in the foster children who have been neglected and abused and showing them that love does not depend on one’s DNA.
For standing against senseless bloodshed and pain of avoidable war that takes the lives of innocent children.
For marching, protesting and speaking out to defend American democracy and the rights and freedoms we all hold dear.
For voting for justice, kindness and empathy when so many others only vote for their own self-interests (or not at all).
For finding time after doing all these things, and the exhaustion it brings, to still cook dinner or do a load of laundry (even when your husband offers to help, because you know in your heart that he, i.e. me, will probably screw something up).
I watched the movie “Boyz N the Hood” this weekend (a movie I should have watched a long, long time ago, which I will get more into in a future post) and was struck by a number riveting scenes, including this one where bad-ass Reva (“Sit your ass down”) Styles, played by Angela Bassett, puts her ex-husband, played by Lawrence Fishburne, in his place when he tries to take credit for guiding their son through the dangers and trauma of life in South Central L.A.
What you did is no different from what mothers have been doing from the beginning of time. It’s just too bad more brothers won’t do the same. But don’t think you’re special. You may be cute, but not special. Drink your cafe au lait. It’s on me.
It’s the only moment in the movie where “Furious” Styles is left speechless and humbled (the wry smile on Fishburne’s face is admission of the fact he’s just been seriously schooled). I’m sure many men reading this post can relate to that feeling of coming to terms with our self-righteousness thanks to the words of a mom who tells it like it is.
The great historian and pundit, Heather Cox Richardson, has a great post on the origins of Mother’s (or Mothers) Day this weekend that captures brilliantly what this day is truly all about. Here’s a snippet (I encourage you to read the whole thing):
If you google the history of Mother’s Day, the internet will tell you that Mother’s Day began in 1908 when Anna Jarvis decided to honor her mother. But “Mothers’ Day”—with the apostrophe not in the singular spot, but in the plural—actually started in the 1870s, when the sheer enormity of the death caused by the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War convinced writer and reformer Julia Ward Howe that women must take control of politics from the men who had permitted such carnage. Mothers’ Day was not designed to encourage people to be nice to their mothers. It was part of women’s effort to gain power to change society.
Mother’s Day will always mean different things to different people, but whatever it means to you or me, one thing we can all agree on is that mothers deserve to be honored and celebrated on this day and every day. Thanks to the moms and mother figures in my life who made me who I am; thanks to my wife for being a beautiful, loving mother to our two children (and putting me in my place when I’ve needed it like Reva did to Furious); and thanks to all those reading this who have shaped lives by being a mom or mother figure, whether to their family, their country or the world.
Happy Mother’s and Mothers’ Day.